Hey Y'all

We have arrived in the land of sweet tea, Dollywood and lightin' bugs. What an adventure! We landed on a Tuesday and Tim was there to welcome us to our new home. Driving from the airport to my house that I had yet to see was sort of wierd. I am looking out the window thinking...

I am going to spend the next three years of my life here in this city. I might have another baby here. I don't know anybody. All of my worldly belongings are in boxes in a house that I have never seen before. My children are going to say "y'all". I don't know anybody.

Well we drove up to our home and it is cute!!! Tim did a great job of picking out a house that will fit our needs well. Please forgive me, but I will have pictures up soon. He had unpacked a bunch of the kitchen stuff, a box with sheets and towels and that was about it. So each room had a stack of boxes in it just waiting to be unpacked.

We, I say we, but it was mostly my mom who did the unpacking and things are finding a home in our new home. There is still a huge pile of pictures that we have yet to hang. Maybe they will get hung and maybe they won't.

Tim's job is going well. He has to be at work at 6AM every morning for lecture then surgery starts around 7. He has been enjoying being in the OR (operating room) and learning a lot. I couldn't tell you much else about his work because he comes home so tired that he doesn't really feel like talking about it. This getting up a 5 thing has really been hard on him. So we are having to get to bed MUCH earlier.

Well, he is at least.

As you can tell, I am entering this post at 11:30 at night when I seem to have the second wind. At any rate, life is going along well here and there will be much more to report in a few more months. I'll post again soon, but until then...

Yall come visit now, ya hear!

Hey Mom, There's a Monkey in my Pants!

The other night, Eric and I were in his room playing before bedtime. He had gotten all of his stuffed animals out and they were conversing with one another. Then he reached for his sock monkey and was swinging it around and laughing as he threw it up in the air only to land on my head. Then, as only little two-year old boys do, he thought to put the sock monkey in his pants. He turned around to face me and said with a smile, "look Mommy, I have a monkey in my pants"

Oh, if he only knew.

That was one of the last nights in our sweet little house on Alice Avenue. Now that sock monkey is in a box sitting in our new home in Knoxville, Tn. I am sad when I think about leaving. It is a loss and I have accepted it as that. Many people ask me how I am doing and how the move is going and I respond with honesty and sometimes I cry. I think it is important to take one moment at a time and to give honor to each moment. To give honor means to give weight, value, worth, respect. I am experiencing a loss. So I allow myself to live in that moment and honor it for what it is. Then, the next moment might be a time when I think to the future and I honor the joy that will be experienced in Knoxville. I am not faking my feelings or covering over something. I honestly believe that we will grow closer as a family and Tim and I will grow in our marriage. So as I write, I am just all over the court with feelings of sorrow and feelings of joy, giving honor to all and allowing myself the freedom to just be in the moment.

Thanks for reading this and for listening to me. I know that you have allowed me to just be and for that, my friend I am ever grateful. I look forward to keeping in touch across the miles and sharing more precious stories about pants and monkeys.
We will have many more memories to make of talking stuffed animals, and other interesting items placed in Eric's pants.

Pomp and Circumstance(s)

Under the circumstances, things went well.
What circumstances? Read on and see...
Circumstance number 1. Mary graduates
I was sincerely excited to be with all of my husband's McIlrath clan to celebrate Tim's sister, Mary's graduation from the University of Southern California. Nevertheless, traveling from Phoenix to LA with a two year old and an 11 month old was not going to be some small event. Days in advance I was doing laundry and making mental lists of what needed to be going with us...mostly to ensure a solid night's sleep for the two wee ones. Thursday morning arrives and I am feeling extremely guilty as I pack up the car because my children's eyes have been glued to the TV for an hour watching Elmo, Clifford, and Caillou. So much for my pre-child mantra of "not EVER letting my children watch that evil picture box".
Well, the car is all packed and we have empty bladders and are ready to go. That leads me to circumstance number 2. Close on the house
Yes, we had to close on our house in Knoxville that very Thursday morning. Some date that the sellers set, but we agreed to it not thinking that it was the very day we had to leave for California. Luckily, my very on-the-ball husband had all of his ducks in a row for the closing and got as much done as possible before hand so all we had to do was go to the title agency, sign a ton of stuff and then she would make the call to the seller's attorney and bam we have a house. Well, we did just that. Bam! we are now homeowners of a quaint 4 bedroom 3 bath house in Knoxville, Tennessee.
Circumstance number 3. saying goodbye
I must remember that when I say goodbye, there is bound to be a hello coming. Yin and yang. Up and down. Mary said goodbye to her undergraduate college years, but maybe she will say a hello to grad work someday soon. We had a lovely time in California with the family and they loved being with us. I take that back - they LOVED being with Eric and Amy. We had to say goodbye after a wonderful visit, but I am looking forward to this summer when we will say hello to another visit. And I know that I must say goodbye to Phoenix and all of my dear ones here, but there will come a hello.

Families, issues and butterflies

My sister Kristin with Bebo the kitty

Eric and Amy last month Me and my brother, Brad circa 1980

Family. Siblings. They enrich our lives more than we will ever know. I have just recently come home from dinner at my folks house and we had an interesting conversation about family matters. I can't speak for you and your family, but I know that my family has issues. I have issues. And the way that each of us processes those issues is as different as night and day. You see, we all face challenges and trials in our daily lives. That is totally the way life is and most of us accept that for ourselves. But when I see a loved one going through a difficult time, I want to step in and help. I want that person to know how bright, capable, and wonderful they are and how he/she is going to make a wonderful mark in this world. I want to fix the problem by giving money or time or advice. The bottom line is that I love them and I want them to be happy and healthy. So in comes Tara with her bucket of fix it water. After all, I am 32 and I have it all together, right?! (That is total sarcasm by the way) My mother, the most wonderful woman to walk the face of the earth, has learned a lesson or two about life and she says that sometimes the best thing is to trust in God, pray for our loved one with every breath we take, then step back out of the way and wait to see the beautiful butterfly emerge from the chrysalis of the present.

Pray and wait. Easier said than done.

The hardest thing to do is just to sit back and watch that loved one flail around treading water when help is just an arm's length away. But as my wise mom says, sometimes the best most motivating thing to give is not advice, but admiration. "You can do it. You are smart, capable and wonderful" Sometimes the best and most motivating thing to do is to listen instead of lecture. And all of the time the best thing to do is pray and trust God. He loves my family members more than I do. Heck, HE got me out of a pit of despair and I know HE loves him/her more that I do.

So, I will wait. I wait with certainty that out of the chrysalis of silence a beautiful butterfly will emerge and will take off to fly with strength and live the life that God has truly intended her to live.

Spring Fever

I haven't posted anything for quite sometime. For starters, it has been lovely here in Phoenix and we have been outside a lot enjoying the spring weather and so when we are inside, my time on the computer is limited. Springtime in Phoenix is glorious. It seems like all the citrus trees in the area converge on a specific blooming week, thus filling the atmosphere with its sweet intoxicating fragrance. When the scent of an orange blossom wafts into your nostrils, you are suddenly overcome with peace and tinglys all at the same time. It is a pleasantly beautiful aroma that seals my springtime experience.

Tonight I traveled a whopping 30 paces to my across-the-street neighbors's home to the annual spring block party. I just LOVE this street. It was like stepping back in time. You see, this neighborhood has been here since the mid fifties and some of the folks who live in the houses are the original owners. Take the block party hosts, Lyle and Arlene for example. They are now in their early 70's and have lived in thier house for over 40 years. Can you imagine living in the same home for that long? For young thirtysomething kids like me and my husband, that seems like a has been reality of yesteryear never to be a reality for us. We were the second folks to arrive at the party. The first people there had known Lyle and Arlene for 33 years because that is how long they have lived in their house which is six houses down from us. As the evening progressed, more folks from our street came down with their covered dishes to add. It was so comforting to see these folks connect with one another and actually exchange meaningful conversation as opposed to the obligatory hello wave that comes when we drive by. I learned that some of these neighbors have been coming to this annual spring block party for over 30 years.
I love that.
I could see us living here for years and when Lyle and Arlene aren't able to host the block party anymore we would then step up and continue the tradition. But alas, we are moving away in a few months.
Okay, I am getting depressed so I am not going to dwell on that. This springtime evening was precious and I will treasure it. I will also learn from this community. I am going to try my best to foster a friendly community wherever we end up. Maybe my first block party will be a flop, but heck if I keep it up for 30 years, who knows what kind of relationships will be formed. Happy Springtime, everyone!

The Joy is in the Journey

Some exciting things are afoot at the McIlrath home. Amy is officially crawling! Lookout world here she crawls. She just loves this newfound way of exploring her surroundings. It is so fascinating to watch her and one can almost see the smoke coming out of here ears as a result of the wheels spinning in that little brain of hers. She laughs and squeals when she crawls, too. I think its because she is just so excited to be moving toward something that is interesting to her. Take last night for example...she crawled from our family room all the way into the kitchen. Then she proceded to explore this wonderful new object called the dog water bowl. To us, it is a plain ordinary bowl that holds water for the dogs and gets in my way. Well to her, it was a vast ocean on new sensations. She cautiously began to reach her hand out to touch it. Then she sort of hit the rim over and over. Then, once confident that this is truly an object worth more exploration, she began to hit the water in it an splash it all around. Eventually she was soaking wet and so was the floor. The funniest thing was when she crawled away leaving a wet trail of water behind her.
The floor needed a good mopping.
The other new thing worth mentioning is that I am an official beginner quilter! I finished my first quilt top last night and I LOVE IT! After that last stitch was made, I held up my finished creation of evenly cut squares of color and smiled a proud smile. I didn't know I could do that sort of thing. Even though that one moment of satisfaction was indeed real, the true joy came from the process of making that quilt top. I am a part of a little beginner quilting class that meets in the home of a dear friend. It is just a few of us from my church, but we are loving learning together and being together. Three hours can fly by and seem like minutes when you are creating something along side other precious women who also have the gift of gab sewing. (that is talking and sewing at the same time)
I think I was born a century too late because I would have LOVED to be a pioneer woman who, apart from the daily grind of running a family on the prairie, would have been a part of a quilting circle. I can totally understand the whole quilting circle concept and how necessary that was in so many different ways.
I will eventually give this quilt away and I hope that the receiver will love it. But you know what; it really doesn't matter. The recipient could just fold it up and keep it hidden in her closet forever and it wouldn't matter to me. The joy was in the making of it. I have better friendships, I have learned a skill and I had some good clean fun in making this quilt.
My little Amy crawls around squealing and laughing at the fact that she is simply not sitting anymore. She loves her little journeys around down the hall.

Yes, we all have our destinations we want to get to and goals we want to achieve. There will be a moment of satisfaction as we hold up our 'quilt' and smile that proud smile. Nevertheless, remember there is joy in the journey. It may take some effort to find it, but it is there. I hope you will join me in taking the advice from my 8 month old and be joyful in my journey and not forget to squeal and laugh along the way.

Places to be, planes and pee pee potty

An entire month has gone by and I haven't been on the internet very much to check my email let alone write a post for this blog. Now that the dust has settled and the last load of laundry has been folded, I thought I'd share a few highlights of the last month. We were in Jacksonville Beach, Florida for two weeks at Christmas then we were at home for a week before we headed off to Nashville, Tennessee for a wedding. Our trip to Florida was really great on the whole. Nonetheless we did have our challenges. Mainly the plane trip back was the largest of all mishaps.
Picture this... a precious 7 month old baby girl, happy, yet a leaky faucet of mucous and a 28 month old little boy full of energy and a sippy cup of apple juice, and lastly a frazzled mother who is trying to keep it together despite the circumstances. We are ready to board the plane after a long two weeks away from home and daddy. As we get on the plane and the flight attendants are always kind and cheerful to us, but the looks and comments I get from the folks in first class - well, I just smile and shake it off. "My you're brave to be traveling with those little ones" or "This is gonna be a long flight". The whole flight from Jax to Dallas was fine and uneventful, but the flight from Dallas to Phx - Oh, Lord RAPTURE me now. Eric was exhausted and so was Amy, but yet no sleep came to either. Well, finally the voice of the captain came over the intercom and I was never so glad to hear the words "flight attendants, prepare the cabin for arrival".
As we gather ourselves a few moments later I hear, "Mommy, pee pee potty"

Great.

Eric starts doing the pee pee potty dance and kept saying with panic in his voice, "mommy pee pee potty, pee pee potty". As the scene unfolds, the lady sitting across the aisle from me obviously sees my distress and offers to help. I have no idea who she is, but I thrust Amy into her arms and say "she is a happy baby, here - have fun holding her" and I sweep Eric up into my arms and we rush down the aisle to the lavaratory. No sooner did we get there the flight attendant says "I'm sorry, but the captain requires that all passengers must be in thier seatbelts... the landing gear is already out". Look lady, you don't understand, Eric has to go PEE PEE POTTY NOW!!!!!! I reluctantly sat down in the empty seat right in front of the bathroom with Eric in my lap and we buckled in. By this time almost everyone in the back half of the plane knew without a doubt that Eric had to go pee pee potty really bad and they were all wondering the same thing... will he make it?

Yes, he made it. Whew! We landed and the flight attendant let us get up and go pee pee potty before the captain turned off the seat belt sign. Walking back to my seat, I remembered that I left my baby with a total stranger and I was hoping that the landing went okay for them both. Luckily, it did and Amy didn't cry upon landing. In fact, she seemed more happy to be with this lady than with me.

Well, after that wonderful episode, I was extremely reluctant to get back on a plane ever again, but alas we boarded a plane again in order to attend the wedding of a friend. The Lord heard my unspoken prayers and the kids slept most of the four hours to Nashville!!!

So we have been back home now for about a week and it sure is nice. Eric is totally into his toys like they were brand new and that is a good thing because it's been kind of cold and rainy here.

May the new year bring fun and joy to you all. And a word to the wise... go pee pee potty when you have the urge and don't wait until the plane is landing