WHAT THE?!?! What was that title?!?!
Hear me out for a few moments...
Have you heard of someone who was in this scenario? Boy meets girl. They are attracted to each other and that attraction is so strong that they continute the relationship and eventually get married. First few years of marriage the Boy works really hard and isn't around as much as girl would like. Girl is lonely and desires the company of her husband. Girl gets pregnant and has first baby then a few years later has baby #2. The little years of the children are sweet, but exhausting. Girl is home a lot and makes sure the children are fed and house is relatively decent and clean. Now it is many years later and Baby#2 is starting kindergarten. Girl wants to get back into shape. Girl wants to read intellectually stimulating books other than Curious George and discuss them with girlfriends at Book Club. Girl wants to go out with girlfriends to nice restaurants for Ladies' Night Out. Girl wants to join friends for a weekend getaway. Now that Boy has worked so hard all these years, he has more time to devote to family and money isn't so tight anymore so Girl can do some or all of these things. Girl goes out more than one night a week. Boy watches kids and feeds himself and kids. Kids. Kids go to baseball. Kids go to dance. Kids have soccer practice. Kids have birthday parties. Pretty soon Boy is being told to pick up kids at some practice or game and then feed himself and kids because Girl has book club. Then Girl comes home late to find Boy sleeping. The next day Boy is hoping for a home-cooked meal with his wife and children, but is so disappointed when he is reminded by Girl that it is Friday and she will be leaving that afternoon for Girl's weekend. He must pick up kids from school.
A few years later...
Boy and Girl split up. Divorce. The children are devastated.
What happened?
I have asked myself this question so many times when I hear of a couple getting divorced. I did not make up above scenario, by the way. I can think of at least four couples that share a similar story to this.
Now, I do not know the point of view from the Boy's side, but I can relate the woman's side of things and here are some questions I have...
1) What attracted you to Boy in the first place?
2) Why did you want to have kids?
3) What made you 'tick' before you met Boy? In other words, what were your interests, passions, hobbies before you got married?
I believe it is important to exercise, read, do the hobbies and things that you are really passionate about. It will make you a better mom and wife. But when these things come IN FRONT of your marriage, then there is a problem. In the above scenario, Girl wasn't doing a whole lot to feed the part of her that loved to read, scrapbook, exercise because she was feeding her children and her husband. Then lo and behold, when she gets back into feeding those passions she is SO deprived that she gorges. She LOVES that she has gotten back into her interests and she is now so full that there isn't much room for her husband. The husband has needs, interests and passions, too, but now he is the one at home with the kids while the wife is away. The roles have reversed.
I remember when my kids were ages 6, 4, 2, and 3 months I didn't have much energy for anything outside of caring for these four littles and my house. But I do remember thinking about what I am passionate about and making a way to do that, but in a way that wouldn't take away time in the evenings from my husband. I love to exercise and teach Holy Yoga. I taught and still teach Holy Yoga one morning a week at our church. I also went to the YMCA and put the kids in the kiddie care area while I worked out. While at the Y, I would occaisionally meet a mom who would put her child in kiddie care and that child would scream bloddy murder and never stop until the childcare worker went to fetch the mom and the mom returned to her gasping-for-air-inbetween-crying-child. Once I heard a mom say, "and this is why I never work out!" Then she proceded to say in an exhasperated sigh, "maybe I will come back tonight or tomorrow night and my husband can take care of the baby".
And thus it begins.
I hope that couple does not have a story like the one I wrote about earlier.
So here is my challenge... it is for 7 consecutive days. One week. I challenge you, Girls, to stay home every night and cook a good, hot supper each of those nights and have s-x with your husband every day. EVERY DAY!
If a man were reading this, he would have a big ol'grin on his face! What was your reaction? Did you go "UGH." Did you grin? Did you roll your eyes?
Why?
Please do not get me wrong in that I am encouraging women to NOT pay attention to thier interests, hobbies, etc. Those gifts that God has given you are a blessing and will bless others and build up the community. But think and consider seriously, are they building up your marriage? What I am asking in this challenge is to take just one week off of the chaos and get back to the fundamental base of your family.
Your marriage.
So I am going to look at a week in the next month and commit that week to restoring the health and vitality to my relationship with Tim and my children. I will pick up the kids from school at 3:15, then come home and we as a family will NOT get back in the car until 7:30am the next morning. For SEVEN DAYS. So that means we will not go to practice, dance, games, meetings, etc. I will be around to hang out with my kids, I will be available to cook a good hot meal for the family and I will still have some energy left over at the end of the day for a 'romantic interlude'. Wink, wink.
May I be so bold as to challenge you to at least do the home-cookin' and love makin' with your husband everyday for seven consecutive days.
Why would you NOT do this? What is holding you back? Why are you allowing it to hold you back?
Pray and ask God for help to do this. I know He will provide meal ideas, energy and the way for this.
After all, a happy healty marriage is totally His idea.
Hear me out for a few moments...
Have you heard of someone who was in this scenario? Boy meets girl. They are attracted to each other and that attraction is so strong that they continute the relationship and eventually get married. First few years of marriage the Boy works really hard and isn't around as much as girl would like. Girl is lonely and desires the company of her husband. Girl gets pregnant and has first baby then a few years later has baby #2. The little years of the children are sweet, but exhausting. Girl is home a lot and makes sure the children are fed and house is relatively decent and clean. Now it is many years later and Baby#2 is starting kindergarten. Girl wants to get back into shape. Girl wants to read intellectually stimulating books other than Curious George and discuss them with girlfriends at Book Club. Girl wants to go out with girlfriends to nice restaurants for Ladies' Night Out. Girl wants to join friends for a weekend getaway. Now that Boy has worked so hard all these years, he has more time to devote to family and money isn't so tight anymore so Girl can do some or all of these things. Girl goes out more than one night a week. Boy watches kids and feeds himself and kids. Kids. Kids go to baseball. Kids go to dance. Kids have soccer practice. Kids have birthday parties. Pretty soon Boy is being told to pick up kids at some practice or game and then feed himself and kids because Girl has book club. Then Girl comes home late to find Boy sleeping. The next day Boy is hoping for a home-cooked meal with his wife and children, but is so disappointed when he is reminded by Girl that it is Friday and she will be leaving that afternoon for Girl's weekend. He must pick up kids from school.
A few years later...
Boy and Girl split up. Divorce. The children are devastated.
What happened?
I have asked myself this question so many times when I hear of a couple getting divorced. I did not make up above scenario, by the way. I can think of at least four couples that share a similar story to this.
Now, I do not know the point of view from the Boy's side, but I can relate the woman's side of things and here are some questions I have...
1) What attracted you to Boy in the first place?
2) Why did you want to have kids?
3) What made you 'tick' before you met Boy? In other words, what were your interests, passions, hobbies before you got married?
I believe it is important to exercise, read, do the hobbies and things that you are really passionate about. It will make you a better mom and wife. But when these things come IN FRONT of your marriage, then there is a problem. In the above scenario, Girl wasn't doing a whole lot to feed the part of her that loved to read, scrapbook, exercise because she was feeding her children and her husband. Then lo and behold, when she gets back into feeding those passions she is SO deprived that she gorges. She LOVES that she has gotten back into her interests and she is now so full that there isn't much room for her husband. The husband has needs, interests and passions, too, but now he is the one at home with the kids while the wife is away. The roles have reversed.
I remember when my kids were ages 6, 4, 2, and 3 months I didn't have much energy for anything outside of caring for these four littles and my house. But I do remember thinking about what I am passionate about and making a way to do that, but in a way that wouldn't take away time in the evenings from my husband. I love to exercise and teach Holy Yoga. I taught and still teach Holy Yoga one morning a week at our church. I also went to the YMCA and put the kids in the kiddie care area while I worked out. While at the Y, I would occaisionally meet a mom who would put her child in kiddie care and that child would scream bloddy murder and never stop until the childcare worker went to fetch the mom and the mom returned to her gasping-for-air-inbetween-crying-child. Once I heard a mom say, "and this is why I never work out!" Then she proceded to say in an exhasperated sigh, "maybe I will come back tonight or tomorrow night and my husband can take care of the baby".
And thus it begins.
I hope that couple does not have a story like the one I wrote about earlier.
So here is my challenge... it is for 7 consecutive days. One week. I challenge you, Girls, to stay home every night and cook a good, hot supper each of those nights and have s-x with your husband every day. EVERY DAY!
If a man were reading this, he would have a big ol'grin on his face! What was your reaction? Did you go "UGH." Did you grin? Did you roll your eyes?
Why?
Please do not get me wrong in that I am encouraging women to NOT pay attention to thier interests, hobbies, etc. Those gifts that God has given you are a blessing and will bless others and build up the community. But think and consider seriously, are they building up your marriage? What I am asking in this challenge is to take just one week off of the chaos and get back to the fundamental base of your family.
Your marriage.
So I am going to look at a week in the next month and commit that week to restoring the health and vitality to my relationship with Tim and my children. I will pick up the kids from school at 3:15, then come home and we as a family will NOT get back in the car until 7:30am the next morning. For SEVEN DAYS. So that means we will not go to practice, dance, games, meetings, etc. I will be around to hang out with my kids, I will be available to cook a good hot meal for the family and I will still have some energy left over at the end of the day for a 'romantic interlude'. Wink, wink.
May I be so bold as to challenge you to at least do the home-cookin' and love makin' with your husband everyday for seven consecutive days.
Why would you NOT do this? What is holding you back? Why are you allowing it to hold you back?
Pray and ask God for help to do this. I know He will provide meal ideas, energy and the way for this.
After all, a happy healty marriage is totally His idea.
