It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

For months I have been feeling this baby inside of me kicking, rolling, squirming and on and on. So the anticipation of his arrival was indeed great because I really wanted to get to know this child who for so long was so busy! His official due date was October 18, but according to my past history of childbearing that does not mean that the delivery will occur on or anywhere near that date.

All of my older three were 11 days overdue.

So October 18 comes and goes. Then October 25 comes and goes and I am still pregnant. Knowing that this baby is probably well over 9 lbs and fully formed, I decided to enact the plan... I drank castor oil. YUCK! and double YUCK! So I downed that nasty stuff at 2 in the afternoon and then about 6ish that evening it started taking effect (it is a laxative). Well, the evening progresses, but my contractions do not so we all go to bed.

About 2AM I wake up to some pretty good contractions and journey up and down the hallway from the bathroom to the kitchen. "THis is IT" I know it is time, so I call the doctor, wake my husband and mom and call the neighbor who is going to come and watch the kids for us while we are gone.

But fear grips me. A deep overwhelming fear that takes over my whole body and intensifies my contractions like nothing I've felt before. "This is too good to be true" or "I have three healthy babies, this one has to have something wrong with it" or "there was something wrong with the ultrasound and it didn't show a major defect that this baby has".

I could go on. I began to pace the floors as I heard Tim turn on the shower. Just as he was getting out, I decided to jump in and boy am I glad I did. It was as if God was washing all of that fear off. The hot water relaxed my body and my spirit so that the fear was no longer an issue in me, but rushing down the drain with the rest of the water.

So we pack up the car and away to UT we go. Upon arrival we are greeted by my doctor and get the IV of antibiotics going. Well the contractions practically stopped. BUMMER! I was about 4-5 cm dialated and about 60% effaced.

So that was 3:30am and then we just hung out until 9am when she came back to break my water. I thought for sure I would have the baby two hours later. Two hours later came and went and still no baby. Started me on pitocin and that kicked in some, but not enough. Kicked up the dosage of pit a few times and by 1pm the contractions were getting good and close.

FINALLY, at 1:30pm, after being at the hospital for 10 hours I was complete and ready to push. You must understand that I was at the hospital for three hours before I had Eric, one hour before I had Amy and 10 minutes for Paul. This long labor was not something I was prepared for and I was tired.

Pushed for 30 minutes and it was the worst 30 minutes of my entire life...yet the best. At the end of it all I welcomed a precious life into my arms.

Turns out he was sunny side up, meaning his head and body were facing up which makes for a more difficult delivery.

Oh those few moments of agony was indeed the worst pain I have EVER experienced in my life, but it brought out the best little Benjamin boy you ever did see.

Welcome to the world Benjamin Miller McIlrath 9lbs 2oz! So glad you are here!

Siblings

Yesterday morning before church Paul and Eric were running around the house laughing and playing with each other. Eric would hide and Paul would run after him to find him then both would squeal and laugh at the sight of each other prompting Eric to run somewhere else and the start all over again.

Meanwhile, Amy was with me in the bathroom doing hair and make up. Who knew!?! Just last summer we would have major battle drama when it came to hair and getting her somewhat groomed. Now she not only wants to see what I am doing, but groom herself to the utmost.

Well, back to the brothers...they just loved running around and bumping into each other then running away from each other only to rejoice in the moment of seeing the other's face just seconds later.

Later that day a few neighbor boys came over to play. Our backyard becomes a local hangout for these boys. The 9 year old boy has one 14 year old sister and the 5 year old boy has an 18 month old sister. So these boys aren't used to having siblings close in age which lends itself to the normal day in day out of wrestling, tugging at each other for space in momma's lap, and other stuff that sibs close in age have to deal with. The two neighbor boys were a little annoyed with Eric and Amy taunting them with a plastic shovel. So the 9 year old comes and tattles to me while I see that my kids have learned to deal with the annoyance.

As I observed their play, I suddenly became aware that I missed my brother and sister. My brother is about to celebrate his 34th birthday in a few days. My little brother - 34! We are 22 months apart and we were playmates oh so many years ago. I am thankful for my brother. We had some fun times together and for that I am truly grateful. Wish we could see each other more often.

My sister and I talk more often and I learn so much from here. Even though she is 5 years younger, she has enriched my life more than she'll ever know.

Siblings. I love them and I am thankful for them. Yes, I say that now that I am a grown up and not fussing over who cheated at Monopoly. At any rate, I love you Bradley! I love you, Kristin and I sincerely thank God for making us sibs!!