Cotton candy, Funnel Cakes and Carnies!!!!!

Y'all guess what? I took my kids to the Tennessee Valley Fair today. (Thanks Karen for the idea) The atmosphere was your typical fair complete with the melange of rides, carnival games, and food stands packed with meat products, flour, sugar and fat. Yummy! All with an East Tennessee country mountain flair!

Eric had never seen such a sight and he was a little apprehensive at first, but as soon as he saw some big boys get on The Spider and we watched them swirl around about a thousand times, he said " Mommy I want to do that"

Here we go.

"Eric, you are still a little boy (even though I tell him he is a 'big boy' all the time) and you are just not tall enough to go on this ride. Let's go over to the little kid area" So we did and he rode on three rides. The first ride - OH I wish I captured it on film- was the bee ride. It had the center pole and all of the 'bees' came out of it like spokes. The bees go up and down while rotating around the center pole. So, we stand him up against the height requirement pole and he meets the minimum. I give him his tickets which he proceeds to give to the ride operator. As an aside, this ride operator was the quintessential carnie! This guy had a long pony tail, a gaping whole in the front of his mouth where the two front teeth used to be and the remaining teeth he did have weren't that great to look at anyway. He even had an "I love mom" tatoo!!! Sweet. Well, I cannot go because I am too big, plus, I have Amy with me and she can't go because she is too small. I realized that I am about to enter into a mothering rite of passage-- entrusting my precious first born to a toothless carnie who loves his mother. The carnie helps him into the closest bee and buckles him in.
"Eric is such a big boy" I think. "There he goes riding his first carnival ride all by himself"
Sniff sniff
The ride starts and up goes Eric's bee. I wouldn't say he was petrified, but I wouldn't say he was all smiles either. He went around three times before I saw any change of movement from his statuesque body. And the change I saw was a slight smile and flick of a finger that closely resembled the beginning of a wave.
So here is Mom, waving like crazy as he goes around while thinking about how big my baby is. At the end of the ride, he was waving and smiling. Oh, what fun. I wish you could have seen him.

The next two rides were the trains and boats. Not as eventful, but at least Amy got to ride with Eric on the boats which by the way were not in water. They were just on a track that has a slight up and down genre. Amy cried because she wanted to go with big brother. So I went and put her in the boat next to him and walked to the gate. She then cried the whole time.

What a day. We did make it over to the Home Centered Craft Expo hall so I could check out the quilts. :-) I looked at them in peace while the kids were content to sit in the double stroller while eating some award winning homemade choco chip cookies. #14 you get a blue ribbon from me and my kids!! Your cookies were great.

Eric passed out on the way home and went straight to bed. It does kind of gross me out that Eric didn't get a bath, but I was SURE that he did wash hands before getting into our car. Amy, on the other hand, was on a post fair high and didn't settle down until 9:30 even though we got home at 8.

Sigh, so now here I am, reliving the sights (carnies, lots of overweight southerners, and 4H sheep) sounds ("mommy, I want to do that" and "yall cut that out or I'm on whup ya") and smells (flour sugar fried in hot fat and cigarette smoke) of the famous Tennesse Valley Fair. Hope you have a great day! We Luv Ya, Yall! Bye bye

Not many people wear orange well...

Accept if you live in the great Rocky Top state of Tennessee! You bleed orange. Today is September 1st, Labor Day and the first game day of the University of Tennessee Vols. (Volunteers for those of you out-of-staters) Everybody and I mean everybody including babies and dogs, had some sort of orange UT garb on today. I have never seen so much orange in all my life. I went to the grocery store and this cute little four month old had on an orange onsie and matching "I'm a little Vol" bib.
This is Tennessee at it's finest, folks.
Nevertheless, I was the only person in the entire Food City who was not wearing something that was either orange or had a UT logo on it. I felt a little out of place. But here is the kicker... the game is an away game and still people are gathering around the campus to watch the big game at sports bars and such.

Thus is my intro to Tennessee football. Other than that, life is pretty good here. Amy is still not sleeping through the night, Eric likes to drop his trousers and poop in our backyard just like the dogs, and I am trying to figure out what shade of orange I will look somewhat decent in for next game day.

Life is biz-ay

This is a picture of us in front of our new house. Life is good here. It was a scorching 83 degrees at high noon today. I prayed for all of my precious friends and family in Phoenix who by now are starting to feel like a potato chip. This time last summer, I used up an entire 32 oz bottle of Jergens lotion and one thing of baby sunscreen.

This is Eric cutting our grass. I am standing on our back deck overlooking our huge lot and amazed that a child so young could do such a great job on the lawn. He was actually pausing to pee here. Oh to be a boy.

We have had the priviledge of having lots of visitors in our month and a half here. My mom was here for the whole month of July, then my dad joined us for a few days late in the month. My brother Bradley, sister-in-law Manuela and nephew Lukas came and stayed for about 11 days and we had a blast.

Last Thursday we had an old friend, Bill with us for a night. He was here from Arizona. Then lastly, we had some good friends from Atlanta come and stay last weekend.

Needless to say, life has been busy. As you can tell, I am not very inspired to be pensive or super deep. I'll come back when I get some rest.

Bye y'all

Hey Y'all

We have arrived in the land of sweet tea, Dollywood and lightin' bugs. What an adventure! We landed on a Tuesday and Tim was there to welcome us to our new home. Driving from the airport to my house that I had yet to see was sort of wierd. I am looking out the window thinking...

I am going to spend the next three years of my life here in this city. I might have another baby here. I don't know anybody. All of my worldly belongings are in boxes in a house that I have never seen before. My children are going to say "y'all". I don't know anybody.

Well we drove up to our home and it is cute!!! Tim did a great job of picking out a house that will fit our needs well. Please forgive me, but I will have pictures up soon. He had unpacked a bunch of the kitchen stuff, a box with sheets and towels and that was about it. So each room had a stack of boxes in it just waiting to be unpacked.

We, I say we, but it was mostly my mom who did the unpacking and things are finding a home in our new home. There is still a huge pile of pictures that we have yet to hang. Maybe they will get hung and maybe they won't.

Tim's job is going well. He has to be at work at 6AM every morning for lecture then surgery starts around 7. He has been enjoying being in the OR (operating room) and learning a lot. I couldn't tell you much else about his work because he comes home so tired that he doesn't really feel like talking about it. This getting up a 5 thing has really been hard on him. So we are having to get to bed MUCH earlier.

Well, he is at least.

As you can tell, I am entering this post at 11:30 at night when I seem to have the second wind. At any rate, life is going along well here and there will be much more to report in a few more months. I'll post again soon, but until then...

Yall come visit now, ya hear!

Hey Mom, There's a Monkey in my Pants!

The other night, Eric and I were in his room playing before bedtime. He had gotten all of his stuffed animals out and they were conversing with one another. Then he reached for his sock monkey and was swinging it around and laughing as he threw it up in the air only to land on my head. Then, as only little two-year old boys do, he thought to put the sock monkey in his pants. He turned around to face me and said with a smile, "look Mommy, I have a monkey in my pants"

Oh, if he only knew.

That was one of the last nights in our sweet little house on Alice Avenue. Now that sock monkey is in a box sitting in our new home in Knoxville, Tn. I am sad when I think about leaving. It is a loss and I have accepted it as that. Many people ask me how I am doing and how the move is going and I respond with honesty and sometimes I cry. I think it is important to take one moment at a time and to give honor to each moment. To give honor means to give weight, value, worth, respect. I am experiencing a loss. So I allow myself to live in that moment and honor it for what it is. Then, the next moment might be a time when I think to the future and I honor the joy that will be experienced in Knoxville. I am not faking my feelings or covering over something. I honestly believe that we will grow closer as a family and Tim and I will grow in our marriage. So as I write, I am just all over the court with feelings of sorrow and feelings of joy, giving honor to all and allowing myself the freedom to just be in the moment.

Thanks for reading this and for listening to me. I know that you have allowed me to just be and for that, my friend I am ever grateful. I look forward to keeping in touch across the miles and sharing more precious stories about pants and monkeys.
We will have many more memories to make of talking stuffed animals, and other interesting items placed in Eric's pants.

Pomp and Circumstance(s)

Under the circumstances, things went well.
What circumstances? Read on and see...
Circumstance number 1. Mary graduates
I was sincerely excited to be with all of my husband's McIlrath clan to celebrate Tim's sister, Mary's graduation from the University of Southern California. Nevertheless, traveling from Phoenix to LA with a two year old and an 11 month old was not going to be some small event. Days in advance I was doing laundry and making mental lists of what needed to be going with us...mostly to ensure a solid night's sleep for the two wee ones. Thursday morning arrives and I am feeling extremely guilty as I pack up the car because my children's eyes have been glued to the TV for an hour watching Elmo, Clifford, and Caillou. So much for my pre-child mantra of "not EVER letting my children watch that evil picture box".
Well, the car is all packed and we have empty bladders and are ready to go. That leads me to circumstance number 2. Close on the house
Yes, we had to close on our house in Knoxville that very Thursday morning. Some date that the sellers set, but we agreed to it not thinking that it was the very day we had to leave for California. Luckily, my very on-the-ball husband had all of his ducks in a row for the closing and got as much done as possible before hand so all we had to do was go to the title agency, sign a ton of stuff and then she would make the call to the seller's attorney and bam we have a house. Well, we did just that. Bam! we are now homeowners of a quaint 4 bedroom 3 bath house in Knoxville, Tennessee.
Circumstance number 3. saying goodbye
I must remember that when I say goodbye, there is bound to be a hello coming. Yin and yang. Up and down. Mary said goodbye to her undergraduate college years, but maybe she will say a hello to grad work someday soon. We had a lovely time in California with the family and they loved being with us. I take that back - they LOVED being with Eric and Amy. We had to say goodbye after a wonderful visit, but I am looking forward to this summer when we will say hello to another visit. And I know that I must say goodbye to Phoenix and all of my dear ones here, but there will come a hello.

Families, issues and butterflies

My sister Kristin with Bebo the kitty

Eric and Amy last month Me and my brother, Brad circa 1980

Family. Siblings. They enrich our lives more than we will ever know. I have just recently come home from dinner at my folks house and we had an interesting conversation about family matters. I can't speak for you and your family, but I know that my family has issues. I have issues. And the way that each of us processes those issues is as different as night and day. You see, we all face challenges and trials in our daily lives. That is totally the way life is and most of us accept that for ourselves. But when I see a loved one going through a difficult time, I want to step in and help. I want that person to know how bright, capable, and wonderful they are and how he/she is going to make a wonderful mark in this world. I want to fix the problem by giving money or time or advice. The bottom line is that I love them and I want them to be happy and healthy. So in comes Tara with her bucket of fix it water. After all, I am 32 and I have it all together, right?! (That is total sarcasm by the way) My mother, the most wonderful woman to walk the face of the earth, has learned a lesson or two about life and she says that sometimes the best thing is to trust in God, pray for our loved one with every breath we take, then step back out of the way and wait to see the beautiful butterfly emerge from the chrysalis of the present.

Pray and wait. Easier said than done.

The hardest thing to do is just to sit back and watch that loved one flail around treading water when help is just an arm's length away. But as my wise mom says, sometimes the best most motivating thing to give is not advice, but admiration. "You can do it. You are smart, capable and wonderful" Sometimes the best and most motivating thing to do is to listen instead of lecture. And all of the time the best thing to do is pray and trust God. He loves my family members more than I do. Heck, HE got me out of a pit of despair and I know HE loves him/her more that I do.

So, I will wait. I wait with certainty that out of the chrysalis of silence a beautiful butterfly will emerge and will take off to fly with strength and live the life that God has truly intended her to live.