Families, issues and butterflies

My sister Kristin with Bebo the kitty

Eric and Amy last month Me and my brother, Brad circa 1980

Family. Siblings. They enrich our lives more than we will ever know. I have just recently come home from dinner at my folks house and we had an interesting conversation about family matters. I can't speak for you and your family, but I know that my family has issues. I have issues. And the way that each of us processes those issues is as different as night and day. You see, we all face challenges and trials in our daily lives. That is totally the way life is and most of us accept that for ourselves. But when I see a loved one going through a difficult time, I want to step in and help. I want that person to know how bright, capable, and wonderful they are and how he/she is going to make a wonderful mark in this world. I want to fix the problem by giving money or time or advice. The bottom line is that I love them and I want them to be happy and healthy. So in comes Tara with her bucket of fix it water. After all, I am 32 and I have it all together, right?! (That is total sarcasm by the way) My mother, the most wonderful woman to walk the face of the earth, has learned a lesson or two about life and she says that sometimes the best thing is to trust in God, pray for our loved one with every breath we take, then step back out of the way and wait to see the beautiful butterfly emerge from the chrysalis of the present.

Pray and wait. Easier said than done.

The hardest thing to do is just to sit back and watch that loved one flail around treading water when help is just an arm's length away. But as my wise mom says, sometimes the best most motivating thing to give is not advice, but admiration. "You can do it. You are smart, capable and wonderful" Sometimes the best and most motivating thing to do is to listen instead of lecture. And all of the time the best thing to do is pray and trust God. He loves my family members more than I do. Heck, HE got me out of a pit of despair and I know HE loves him/her more that I do.

So, I will wait. I wait with certainty that out of the chrysalis of silence a beautiful butterfly will emerge and will take off to fly with strength and live the life that God has truly intended her to live.